Dating Chronicles: Cancer

Troy* was a Virgo and overanalyzed everything. He was the type that would sit in bed at night and think of ways to seek revenge or manipulate a person while the potential victim was sleeping well without a second thought of him. At the time, he was my FWB, but I began to discern that he wanted more. I wasn’t interested in a relationship, and even if I was, he wouldn’t be the one. Besides consistent penis, Troy had nothing of value to offer. There was nothing that he could have done to make my life better, so there was no point in him taking up space in it as a boyfriend.

He suggested that we start dating, and I politely declined while wondering how I allowed him to think he had a chance. Now that his emotions were clearly involved, I decided to cut him off as an FWB. He came over for one final session. We were in bed afterwards, and I was waiting for him to leave. Instead, he got depressed.

“So this is it?” he asked lightly. I shook my head yes. After moments of silence and me wondering what time he was planning on leaving, he revealed, “I have something that I’ve been wanting to tell you.” His voice was cracking in the process of him saying it.

My mind immediately goes to STDs, but we’ve protected ourselves, so then I began to think he was full of shit and stalling the end of our FWB situation.

‘I have cancer,” he proclaimed.

“Since when?” I respond skeptically. Cancer is a serious illness, and something in my spirit knew he was making this up.

“I haven’t gone to a doctor.”

“Huh? How do you know?”

“Feel my throat.” He grabbed my hand and placed it to his lymph nodes. I felt nothing out of the ordinary.

“I don’t feel a thing,” I replied. “You can’t just say that you have cancer if you’ve never even received a diagnosis.”

“I’m not going to the doctor because as soon as I know for sure, I’m gonna get really sick. ”

In the back of my mind, I screamed, “BOY, IF YOU DON’T GETCHO!!!”

Who the fuck is going to claim cancer? Who would speak that disease into their lives without even seeking a medical professional first? Who goes around thinking they have a nonexistent lump in their throats and automatically assuming it’s malignant?

I didn’t know what his thought process was for this shit, but it seemed to be hypochondriasis. What made it interesting was that he had recently told me about a coworker that had been diagnosed with lymphoma and was deteriorating quickly.

He then proceeded to reveal he had a new outlook on life since he had cancer. It was the reason he enjoyed spending time with me. I made him happy, and he just wanted to do things that made him happy. The cancer provided the epiphany that he was tired of living life for other people and putting them first rather than putting himself first. He was ready to live life on his own terms.

That was all nice and swell. The response he expected out of me probably wasn’t the response I gave him. I wrinkled my eyebrows in confusion, rolled my eyes, flipped myself around in the bed, and tried to go to sleep. I didn’t think for a second that this man had cancer and it would’ve taken a doctor to tell me otherwise. I wasn’t about to confirm his delusion to make him feel better. Not for one second.

This had to have been one of his manipulation tactics that he spent half the night thinking about while I was in my bed dreaming peacefully. Was this all because I said I no longer wanted to be his FWB? Either way, the fact remained that this was the end. Troy had energy I couldn’t be around. Whether he had cancer would not change my decision.

He took the hint, gathered his clothes, and left. As far as I know, that dude is still alive and well to this day.

Troy* – Names changed for privacy.

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